No. 67. Building a life you love
Waiting seasons & preparing for someday dreams
I wrote a book about waiting seasons, so you’d think I understand how to wait well - how to be fully present, yet expectant in faith of what God is going to do. Lately though, I keep falling into wishing to be in the next season.
But there are steps you need to take to get to that “dream life.” It may be going to college to get a certain degree, working a certain amount of time to get the experience to get promoted, or saving towards a dream. Because changing seasons and big life dreams need preparation.
For example, my husband and I dream of moving out into the country and building a home on a ranch. We talk about it every day. We check listings for properties. We listen to podcasts and read books on ranching, homesteading, business, and finances to help prepare us for the dream we’re working towards. We keep striving to get raises and save money for a down payment.
As much as we want to be in that season already, I need to be reminded that good things take time and that there’s no such thing as wasted time.
It’s tempting to want to skip to the good part, but you can live out the life you dream today, even if it doesn’t look like how you wish it would or if it’s on a much smaller scale. Because faith is living as if God has already done what you’re praying for and dreaming about.
I recently did a poll on my Instagram asking what you would do if you knew you’d get a million dollars deposited into your account each year - what would your days look like?
The point of asking questions like that is to realize that you shouldn’t live for someday. It’s cliche but it’s true: none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. You’ll never have enough money.
It’s never going to be a perfect time. There will always be something in the way of what you want. It’s always going to feel risky and you’ll be scared to take a chance on your dream.
I’ve fallen into this trap often: thinking that when “x” happens, things will be better. That I’ll be happier once I’m married. We'll start a garden once we’re back in our hometown and more settled. That I need to get through this newborn season and then parenting will be better / easier. That we’ll live a slower life once we’re settled in the country. That life will be different or I’ll feel prettier once I lose weight.
But this constant waiting on “someday” costs us today. This season has beauty and value too. And what we sow today, we will reap tomorrow. The extent of how full the next season that we’re waiting for is determined by how we live out this season.
A concept that changed goal setting for me is that you should live as the woman you want to become. For example, if you want to be fit and healthy, how would a fit and healthy woman live today? What kind of choices does she make? What does she eat? How does she spend her time? What does she think about?
So, I want you to take that concept and apply it to your dream life - the things you’re dreaming of doing and becoming someday.
I’ll use myself as an example again. Our family dream is to live out in the country, and part of me thinks that I have to wait to live a homestead life until there is a homestead.
But it’s not like a light switch is going to flip on to homesteader mode the minute we close on our ranch. Instead, there are homesteading skills, habits, rhythms and practices we can cultivate and incorporate into our subdivision, city living lifestyle now.
And I get it - if you’re single, wanting to be married and to be a mama, it’s kind of hard to live that out single since it requires other people to make the picture complete. Or you’re married and want to be a mama, but month after month, there is a negative pregnancy test or a miscarriage, and no matter how hard you try, it isn’t working.
I share what God taught me on this in a chapter on spiritual mothering in my book (this book is great on this topic too!). Because in situations like this, for me, what maximized the waiting season was focusing on gratitude and preparation for the next season.
I heard a testimony on a podcast about a woman who also had a dream of living on a homestead and everything changed for her when her prayers shifted from asking to thanking. She began to thank God for the property He had set aside for their family. As if it was a done deal and it was only a matter of timing. That unlocked what their family was praying for. Because I believe that gratitude makes what we have enough, even if it’s not where we want to be.
In Jeremiah 29:4-7, God told the Israelites that they would be in exile in Babylon for 70 years, but that even though they were far from the home they wanted to be and in a foreign land, God wanted them to put down roots:
“Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.”
Because for a season, exile was where God wanted them to be. This season served a purpose. It might have not felt like it to them, but that was the best place at that moment, but it wouldn’t always be that way.
So, all this to say: Put down roots where you’re at today. Build a life you love today, even as you prepare and pray for the dream you’re working towards someday.
Just a little of what’s been on my mind lately!
Until next time,
YPS
Got 30 seconds? I’d love to get your thoughts on what should I write about next & what you wish more women would talk about today!
What I’m loving lately
WWSTA09: Beauty (Risen Motherhood Podcast)
I’m currently listening to this episode and it includes some good insights on how to approach beauty and aging.
Why Millennial Working Mothers Are Leaning Sideways (Vogue)
This is an older opinion piece, but it came up on Pinterest for me and I find it to be still relevant today. The article talks about how millennial women (who are in the childbearing / child raising stage right now) are leaning “sideways” by putting the corporate ladder aside and instead prioritize a flexible work-life balance.
I’d love to hear if you have thoughts on this? Or personal experiences to share?
I’ve tried a lot of mascara brands, but right now this is my favorite (I just re-ordered another tube!). It looks great on and you can wash it off with water at the end of the day super easily. It’s also made with clean ingredients, which is a must for me lately.