No. 87. March 2024 recap + the fourth trimester

Life lately and how I'm trying to focus on the beauty in this season of raising littles

I’m sitting on the front porch at my in-laws writing this with an iced decaf latte. It’s a perfect spring day. The wind has a little bit of a chill with it but the sunshine is so warm. 

Baby Luke is sleeping in his stroller and our two year old, Levi, is living his best life in the country side - playing in the dirt, bottle feeding lambs, riding his four wheeler in the fields, playing basketball with his uncle, and helping grandma & grandpa with chores. 

Every time we visit my in-laws, it’s a reminder of our why and the life we want to give our kids in the country. Seeing my husband and son in this life is seeing their best selves - this is where they come alive. We all do. That’s why my husband and I are saving and working towards buying land and setting up systems and investments to provide our family with financial freedom to build generational wealth and give us the ability to give generously. 

We’re 3.5 weeks postpartum and I can’t hardly believe how fast time flies (especially since Luke was a week overdue and those last few weeks of pregnancy feel like they move at turtle’s pace!).

Luke Daniel Sheremeta was born March 11. He looks exactly like his older brother but seems to have a calmer personality. 

This labor & delivery and postpartum recovery has been so much smoother and that is an answered prayer. I labored at home longer this time and that helped so much being in my own space, moving around freely and no pressure to speed up labor. Luke was born within three hours from when we got to the hospital. 

I also felt more like myself within a day of giving birth and that was also an answered prayer because last time it took me weeks to get out of the brain fog and feel even remotely like myself again. I keep wanting to go back to normal activity but my body reminds me that I am still healing. 

It’s also a mental struggle to feel like myself again, but look in the mirror and see a body that still looks five months pregnant or try on clothes and realize they still don’t fit. I keep telling myself that it took nine months to grow this child, and it will take at least as long for my body to lose weight, especially since I’m exclusively nursing and my body tends to cling to the pregnancy weight until the baby is weaned.

Someone on Instagram recently said that you’ll have the rest of your life to lose the baby weight but your baby will be a baby only for a short time and that really resonated with me. As the Bible says: to everything there is a season and right now my season is raising babies.  

One of the hardest adjustments of going from one to two kids is feeling like our toddler is being neglected. Levi keeps asking for me but between nursing and lots of contact naps, it feels like Luke is attached to me most of the time. I’ve been trying to find pockets of one on one time with Levi but it still doesn’t feel like enough. Levi seems to big compared to Luke, so I have to keep reminding myself that he’s actually still little and needs me still too, especially as we navigate so many changes.

We had part time childcare for the first two weeks and now we’re visiting family — it  helps so much to have someone take Levi to the playground and play with him outside (he’s such an outdoors kid!). But once my husband goes back to work, it will be me and the boys home alone for the next few months and to be honest, I’m a bit nervous about that. I’m hoping the weather stays warm so we can spend lots of time outside together, but I know there is still much adjustment ahead for all of us. 

I tend to be a person who focuses on the hard parts of a season, even when the good far outweighs the hard. This is especially true in the newborn season when sleep is minimal and the changes to life and routines are many. 

I’ve written about finding joy in motherhood before, but it’s a reminder I need in this season in particular. Because as the sleep deprivation mounts and the baby seems to need me 24/7, it’s so tempting to focus on the hard parts of the baby season. 

And I don’t want to keep doing that. I want to see the beauty in this season of raising littles. So, here are some ways I’m doing this:

• Watching vlogs on the Farmhouse on Boone and This Golden Hour YouTube channels. I’m generally not a fan of homestead social media content - a lot of it feels too curated for a certain aesthetic nowadays, but these two channels are somehow calming for me and help me get out of my anxious mindset around homemaking and raising kids. Both women are also in the postpartum and baby season, so it feels comforting to watch someone experienced in motherhood and homemaking walk this out a few steps ahead of me. I also love the content on this Instagram account (her newsletter and ebook on finding magic in the mundane is a great read on this topic!). One of my 2024 goals is to plant and cultivate seeds of legacy in our home, which includes growing in my homemaking skills and embracing this season of motherhood & raising littles, so consuming content like this is both inspirational and educational to achieve this goal!

• Making an intentional effort to be present. It’s true: babies don’t keep. I keep looking at Levi and I can’t process when he went from a baby to a little boy. So I’m trying to put my phone down more often and look into my kids’ eyes when I’m with them so I can truly be where my feet are. I also don’t want my kids remembering me always on my phone - definitely not the legacy I want to leave behind!  But, to be honest, this is difficult to do - I just found this book on being a hands free mama, so I’ve added it to my reading list this year! 

• Taking all the photos and videos to document our family’s seasons. Ever since I stopped sharing so often on social media, I’ve started to take photos and videos of ordinary moments in our days without the pressure to make things Instagram worthy or aesthetically pleasing, and that is so freeing. It means I can take a photo or video, put down my phone and be in the moment without having to capture and edit the “perfect” photo. I actually just started this book on a mother’s guide to practicing presence through photography and am enjoying it so far! 

• Reminding myself that children are not a distraction from more important things, they are the important thing. As someone who loves my work and learning, I feel like my mind is often abuzz with ideas, and if I allow it, there are times when I feel like my kids are keeping me from my work or from accomplishing my to-do list. So, I remind myself that my family is the important thing. The work and to-dos will get done eventually, but my kids will only be in our home for a short season. 

• Focusing on the legacy we’re building. I’m working on an ebook guide on building a family legacy because I’m realizing it’s one of the most important things a family needs to live a life of impact and steward well what God entrusts to us. Because realizing that the daily mundane things are building our legacy changes how we approach our time, finances, work, relationships, parenting… etc. I talk more about how we’re planting seeds of legacy in our home here and here.

• Prioritizing the little things that make me feel like my “normal” self: my morning coffee, reading the Bible (even if it’s on my phone while nap trapped), reading books that make me grow and think, dreaming up creative projects, writing, time outside in the sunshine, doing my hair and makeup daily, etc. Even if it’s only a few imperfect minutes, it truly makes a difference for my mental health!

• Embracing the things unique to this season. My first newborn season felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel - like this is how life would be forever. But with hindsight in the second newborn season, I now know that it’s actually truly a short season and before you know it, your baby’s a toddler. So, I’m embracing contact naps and co-sleeping instead of trying all the tricks and gimmicks to get baby to sleep in the crib, knowing we can sleep train in a few months and baby won’t forever be attached to me. I’m trying not to grumble about night feeds and instead watch comforting shows to stay awake (I just finished the latest season of All Creatures Great and Small and currently watching Karen Kingsbury’s Baxters series on Prime - I loved her books when I was younger!). The newborn season is hard in many ways, but it’s also short and beautiful!

If you enjoyed this essay, check out this collection of essays for the first time mom!

Until next time,
YPS