What I'm learning about small town, rural living

Two months since we moved & bought a business in a small town - so, how's it going?

Hi, friend! APL is a newsletter about aspiring to live out the Proverbs 31 lifestyle by building an enduring family legacy & generational wealth. For more on the topic of women & work, check out my Elevate Blueprint! To download our Family Legacy Guide, click here.

It’s been two months since our move to the countryside and we are thriving. Don’t get me wrong - there are many difficult moments and challenges, but it’s the good kind of hard.

We’ve planned, dreamed and prayed about moving out of the city since we met, but when the time came to make the move, I was a bit nervous since all I’ve ever known is city life. The thought of not having a Target or a TjMaxx/HomeGoods or a dozen coffee shops nearby was a foreign concept to me and I wasn’t sure how I’d do without all conveniences I’ve always been used to.

No. 90. April 2024 recap + BIG NEWS for our family!

I remember in my first year of law school, praying one day and hearing almost an audible voice asking if I’d be willing to lay down my dreams of a big city life and corporate career ambitions to raise a family in a farmhouse in the country, and, like Sarah when God told her she’d have a baby at 100, I laughed.

It took some time and divine heart work for God to break down the walls around my heart and strip away the worldly ambitions. Until one day, I could say, “Yes, God. If that is your will, that is what I want too, white farmhouse and country living included.” 

I thought it was just a test. Because for the next few years, God gave me so much of what I dreamed of: becoming a lawyer, an apartment in a high rise, big city living, the career. 

In November 2020, I met a cute guy whose dream was to farm and ranch, and then it clicked what - or more so, who - God had been preparing me for.

Because the number one thing I’ve learned since we moved out to the country?

My husband is his best self here.

I saw glimpses of it when we’d visit my in-laws and Daniel would relax and become more confident in ways that rarely showed up in our city life. At first, I thought it was maybe because he was in his childhood home, but since we moved out to our own homestead, it’s become a permanent thing: this is the life he was created for.

Our marriage is better for it.

If you want to take your marriage to the next level, take the time to dream big with your husband for your family and the legacy you want to leave behind, and then take steps together as a couple and a family to make those dreams reality. This is what our Legacy Guide was created for.

Don’t get me wrong. We had a wonderful life and marriage in the city. But that city lifestyle felt like an ill fitting piece of clothing - not quite right, tight in some places, uncomfortable, as if it isn’t truly yours.

But moving to the country and seeing Daniel work at building an agriculture business has been like stepping into something tailor made for us - a perfect fit; like coming home. It’s made him an even more confident leader, happier, more fulfilled, and our marriage stronger.

Even though we’re working harder than we ever have and life is incredibly full, at the end of the day, we get into a bed feeling the good kind of tired - the kind where you know you’ve spent your time doing exactly what you were created to do.

My husband has always said that the reason he enjoys ag work is because you get to see a physical result of your hard work. You plant something, cultivate it and then there’s a harvest. Corporate office work doesn’t really provide that.

The other day, Daniel came home excited to show me that the seed he sold to a local farmer our first few weeks here had grown tall and was ready for harvest. He showed me videos of the farmer baling the sudan grass he sold to the farmer, his eyes alight, and that was a confirmation that yes, the risks we took to get here are worth it.

By the way, we’re working on making some of the seed and feed we sell available online and it’ll be so exciting to make that available to you if you have land or livestock! We’re sourcing only the best :)

I see that fulfilled look in his eyes when he comes inside in the evenings after working our garden. Even on days when it’s hot and humid and his clothes are soaked through with sweat, I see how much he loves seeing the corn and flowers come up in our garden.

I see the same in our toddler. He spends his days running around wearing only a diaper: chasing and feeding the chickens, playing in mud puddles, exploring the barn, digging, collecting eggs, riding his four wheeler, pretending to garden and cut trees like his dad. This life suits him so well.

I’ve been loving it too. It’s somehow easier to breathe out here. The pace is slower and it’s easier to focus on what truly matters to us. My anxiety is better. I have so much to learn about homesteading, but instead of feeling intimidated, I’m actually enjoying it (to my surprise!).

At times, I do feel like I stick out like a sore thumb around here. The other day, we went to the local youth fair, which our business helped sponsor. It’s basically kids and young adults showing and competing the farm animals they raised. I wore a white sundress and at the fair noticed that the look around here is more jeans, a shirt with ruffled shoulders (or shorts and a t-shirt), and cowboy boots.

I’m not going to change my style just to fit in, but I may invest in cowboy boots (this will make my husband happy - he’d love to see me in a sundress and cowboy boots!).

A not so fun homesteading experience: finding a snake in our chicken coop. My sister in law was visiting to help out during harvest when Daniel was working 16-18 hour days, so she went to help gather eggs one day. I was with the boys outside the chicken coop (the coop is Levi’s favorite place to play!), when she came out with a video she took of a giant snake eating an egg in one of the nesting boxes.

I freaked out. She didn’t (she was raised in the country, so she’s seen her share of snakes!). Thankfully, she was able to get the snake out and kill it. It was a harmless snake, but a large one and since then, we check the coop before Levi goes in to make sure we don’t have any other reptile visitors!

Another lesson learned is the lack of local options for groceries and healthcare.

We have one grocery store in our town. It has the basics, although it’s definitely overpriced and the selection appears to be catered to a clientele that eats more processed food? The vegetables, fruit and bread options are minimal and don’t last long - they’re either already wilting or become unusable within a few days.

The other day, I went to get our weekly groceries, and the store’s entire refrigerated section had broken and was closed off, other than the milk, cheese and yogurt freezer. Since it’s the only grocery store in town, my husband had to go to the next town over where our business is located to get the groceries that were on our list from the refrigerator aisles. Such is small town life.

There is a walmart 40 minutes away and a Costco 1.5 hours away, so for bigger shopping days we’ll stock up in bulk there, but for the week to week shopping, we’re adjusting to buying the basics at the grocery store and then buying fruit and vegetables from local farmers and the Amish. It’s a little less convenient than getting everything at the grocery store, but definitely healthier!

There’s also very few restaurants around, so we went from eating out a couple times a week to a few times a month — usually a pizza from Casey’s after church on Sunday (don’t hate it until you’ve tried it! It might be “gas station pizza” but it’s so so good!).

Next spring, we’ll probably put in more of a variety of vegetables in our garden so that we can grow more of our own food. It appears most people who have land do that around here, which isn’t surprising given the lack of options for fresh groceries in a small town.

I had kept promising my husband that once we moved to the country, I’d try sourdough baking (he loves sourdough bread!). So, once we moved out here, I gave it a try. My niece in law coached me through it - I truly don’t think I would have gotten it if she didn’t so patiently answer all my questions.

At first, it felt overwhelming - so many steps, so much waiting. But the more I practiced, the easier it got, and it’s become a soothing rhythm in the week. Now, I get the hype about why everyone and their mother has been making sourdough the last few years!

I’m also adjusting to the fact that there aren’t major hospitals in town. We have a family clinic nearby with a nurse practitioner that we’re using as a pediatrician and that’s been good thus far, but for other specialists and medical care, we’ll likely have to drive 45 minutes to 1.5 hours. Which is really just another incentive to take better care of our health so we don’t even need medical care unless there’s an emergency!

We’ve also really been touched by how welcoming most people have been. All of our neighbors have welcomed us and invited us to their churches. Our realtor has been loaning us his lawn mower until we can buy our own. Our neighbors have let us borrow their trailers to haul things.

The local farmers and ranchers have been coming in to put orders for seed and feed at the seed house - not at the levels we want, but it seems like an exercise in trust: buying little by little until we’re trusted to have more of their business. Which is fair.

We’re slowly finding community here. We found a local church that could be a good fit, but we’ve only visited a few times, so we’ll see. My husband has been building lots of relationships with local farmers and ranchers through our business, and I’ve made a mom friend who has been a blessing and an answered prayer!

We’ve found a wonderful nanny, another answered prayer, and the kids are adjusting to not being with me 24/7 since I went back to work last week, but I am grateful to be able to work from home and still see and hear my kids all day.

Levi keeps asking for a tractor, cows and a dog, and we tell him all that will be ours someday. Because as much as we’re loving where we are now, this is just the starting steps towards the big vision for our family.

The other day, Daniel and I were talking about a new business endeavor we have in the works and what we need to make it happen, and we realized so much of what we needed to make this dream a reality, God has already prepared for us. One neighbor had the connections we would need to sell this product, another local had a brand selling this product, someone else offered their field for our use.

It’s like God was waiting for us to take these steps of faith and the provision was waiting on the other side.

I read this in my devotional the other day and we are living out that this is true (but really, we moved to a different state with no housing lined up and God didn’t provide a house for us until after we sold our house and moved, even though we had been house hunting for months!):

“God has promised to supply and empower; your job is to follow him by faith where you live every day. You don't wait for the provision before you move. God has not promised that you will see it beforehand. 

You don't try to figure out what God is going to do next and how he will meet your needs; you move forward in the certainty that he is with you, for you, and in you. This God of awesome power will grant you power to do what is needed. This is his sure and reliable covenant promise to you.” - Paul David Tripp

So, if you have a dream that you think is too big, too risky, that maybe it’s not the right time, or that you don’t have the finances or resources to make it happen, I hope our story inspires you to take the leap of faith and God will provide.

Provision is waiting on the other side of your obedience.

Because it would be heartbreaking to get to heaven and realize how much you left undone on the table because you were afraid. That God had so much more for you, but you chose a smaller life, a life that is safe, a life that fits in with the crowd.

In the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30), the man with one talent didn’t do anything to multiply what his master entrusted to him because he was afraid. So he stayed small. He buried what he was given and went on with his life.

He disappointed his master and he lost it all.

We’re called to grow and multiply what God gives us in each season - our finances, relationships, skills, talents, resources. They should be used to provide for our family, to help those in need and to grow God’s kingdom.

This requires seeking the Lord, hard work, discipline, consistency, leaps of faith and having a big vision to work towards.

“It never works to wait for God to do what He had clearly called you to do. God promises to provide, but He calls us to labor, pray and give. We rest in God’s presence and constant care, and we toil with our hands, busy at the work we have been commanded to do.” -Paul David Tripp

If you’re inspired reading this but are unsure of what steps to take next to move the needle on the dreams God has put on your heart (or if you’re not sure what those dreams are!), the Family Legacy Guide could be a good fit for you! Use the code LEGACY10 to get 10% of the digital version of the Legacy Guide.

My husband and I wouldn’t be where we are today if we didn’t have the discussions covered in the Legacy Guide while we were engaged and on a regular basis since we got married! It’s truly transformative for a marriage!

Until next time,
YPS

P.S. if you don’t follow me on Instagram, let’s be friends? I’ve been really enjoying sharing our life here in the countryside through IG stories and reels and Daniel has been showing the business side on the Stockton Seed account if you’re curious!