Is Hallmark on to something?
Finding parallels between Hallmark and reality
It's that time of year: Hallmark holiday movies. They're cheesy and there's like three variations of the same plot year after year, and yet, they bring me much joy.
Some common themes prominent in Hallmark movies:
Moving from the big city to a picturesque small Hallmark town
Giving up a safe career to follow a dream and/or keep open a small, local shop or farm
Family, traditions and all the holiday vibes
Falling in love over the course of a few days or weeks
It is often said that Hallmark movies are so popular because they paint a fairy tale, perfect kind of life, but lately, I've been thinking: are more people embracing the Hallmark life since 2020?
The COVID shutdowns and economic turmoil + the rise of homesteading in popularity has resulted in more people leaving cities and suburbs in recent years. Layer in the trad wife trend, and you have a rising interest in rural living, quitting safe careers, family, slow living, self-employment, portfolio careers, and homesteading.
I've been thinking lately a lot about how 17- and 21-year-old me would be puzzled by the the unexpected turn of events in my life.
Back then, I dreamed of living in a big city with a fancy, important job in fashion, media, or politics. Marriage and motherhood were the least important dreams on my wish list - in fact, they barely made the list. I wanted to see the world and accomplish big things first in my career before even thinking about getting married or having kids.
Here I am in my thirties: two kids two and under, living on a homestead in a small rural town, baking sourdough, writing about submission in marriage (teenage me said she would not submit to no man! lol), and my husband and I bought a small local business that we're trying to bring back to life.
But even so, there are still many dreams from teenage me that I'm living out today: I have an amazing corporate career, including working for some of the biggest companies in the world; I've published and written books; started a ministry; got a beautiful love story and an amazing, Godly, handsome husband. I lived in a high rise in the big city, got a law degree; had jobs where I wore suits and got to do exciting, corporate things. I've traveled the world.
Looking back at 17 and 21-year-old me though, I no longer want the life she dreamed of. It no longer feels like me, nor does it align with the kind of legacy I want to leave behind.
I’ve grown and my dreams shifted accordingly, in an almost Hallmark movie kind of way.
Younger me wanted to change the world. Older me wants to focus on my immediate sphere of influence.
Younger me thought the only way to make an impact is through my career and with an impressive job title. Older me is learning that my job is not my identity and that a life of impact looks more like a thriving portfolio life and building an enduring legacy rather than any one job title or wordly accolade.
Younger me wanted to work in a high rise office making someone else's business prosper and get promoted as fast as possible. Older me is content in my career and dreaming of a portfolio career that allows me to use my skills and creativity to help others, bring in a good income and gives me the flexibility to focus my time and efforts on my home and family.
Younger me felt like I had so much to prove as a first generation immigrant, college student and lawyer. Older me knows what matters most to me, so I am not easily swayed to proved to anything to anyone.
Younger me wanted to be in the hustle and bustle of a big city. Older me loves the quiet, slow life in a rural small town.
Younger me feared marriage - she thought it would hold me back, hinder my dreams, force me to stay quiet and small. Older me has discovered that it's the opposite: marriage has expanded my capacity and my dreams.
I ended up marrying a wholesome, handsome cowboy farmer, even though I spent years dreaming of marrying a fancy suit corporate kinda guy. My husband and I made things official at the end of our first date (it lasted nine hours!) after a month of meeting; got engaged three months after meeting; married six months after meeting. And Daniel sure does look handsome in flannel shirts, can chop wood and dreams of owning a farm someday :)
I'm currently reading some of Sally Clarkson's books and she talks a lot about traditions and building a legacy through our homes and family culture. And as we enter the holiday season, I find myself thinking a lot about the traditions and culture I want to design and establish in our home and life (something Hallmark does incredibly well!).
So, basically, my life has become a somewhat drawn out Hallmark movie, and based on the kind of content I see trending on social media, I think it's a shift many other women are experiencing too:
Shifting from exclusively climbing the corporate ladder and worldly accolades to doing more meaningful work that aligns with our interests and offers flexibility to focus on our homes and families - whether that includes taking a career break to focus on family or choosing a job that allows you to work and prioritize family and home
Supporting small, locally owned businesses instead of always opting to shop at major retailers or in fast fashion
Moving from city and suburban living to your own patch of land in a smaller town
Eating out less and instead growing our own food and making more food from scratch
Loving our husbands and refusing to speak or think negatively of them
Embracing a slower living steeped in intention and tradition instead of being swept up in consumerism and entertainment
Desiring to build something long lasting - an enduring legacy - instead of trying to build someone else's corporate dream or to further some social agenda
I know this seems to paint an ideal. And that this isn't a dream life for everyone.
But the point is: are you being swept up in a current of others' expectations and choices, or are you building an intentional life based on what matters most to you right now?
Whatever that may look like for you, take some time this holiday season to reflect on whether how you're living today aligns with the life you dream of for yourself and your family. Maybe it will be a Hallmark movie that inspires you to or reminds you of a dream you've always wanted to pursue!
Hallmark movies are a made up fantasy, but maybe they're on to something: saying no to how others think you should be living and yes to living in a way that focuses on what matters most to you.
It's okay if your dreams shift: if what you wanted when you were younger no longer aligns with who you are today.
I just don't want any of us to get to our last days and look back in regret at all the things we dreamed of, but never followed through on.
That we played it safe and didn't take a risk on a dream God put on our hearts.
That we didn't let ourselves fall in love quickly because the world tells us to casually date for years before committing.
That we put career over family; the online world over our offline lives; consumerism over traditions; hustle over slowing living.
That the closest we got to our dream life is through a Hallmark movie or by following an online influencer's life.
It's cheesy, but this holiday season, I wish a Hallmark movie life for you, full of beauty, traditions, family, meaningful work, a beautiful love story, epiphanies for the kind of life you want live, a slower pace, and all of God's greatest blessings upon you and yours.
So grateful for your support of my writing and my small corner of the internet,
P.S. A reminder that my entire shop is 30% off this week. Use code GRATEFUL - praying these resources are an encouragement to you and the season you’re in!