The importance of knowing your season

October recap + navigating a change in seasons

October is one of my favorite months with all the fall foliage, cooler temperatures (sort of - we've had lots of days in the 80s!), and the smell of changing seasons in the air. For us, October included:

• I started getting into a good routine of taking better care of myself physically, including doing some strength training and intermittent fasting - I haven’t weighed myself but my clothes don’t feel as tight, so I’m counting that as good progress!

• Halfway through the month, baby Luke got sick so I haven't slept in over two weeks other than 1-2 hour spurts at a time. Luke's been really clingy and there’s lots of crying (is it a developmental leap? sleep regression? growth spurt? teething? this stage of babyhood is a revolving mystery!), so my workouts have unfortunately taken a back seat because I am so sleep deprived and exhausted, and my body doesn't need that extra stress right now (but I am craving getting back into those workouts soon, hopefully! Luke's on the mend, praise God!)

• We spent time with our new church family during a weekend church camp out. We didn't sleep at the campgrounds, but did come for an afternoon/evening and church in the outdoor pavilion on Sunday morning, which was beautiful!

• We went to a family wedding and spent a weekend at my in-laws (they live about 2 hours from us)

• Lots of time spent outside as the temperatures slowly cool off - we set up a tripod in our backyard and captured a few family photos with gorgeous foliage (as much as you can with a toddler and baby before bedtime!)

• Luke turned seven months!

• Daniel's been hard at work growing a food plot / cover crop in our garden and selling seed and feed at the Stockton Seed House - it's slow growth re-starting and building a business, but little by little, we're making progress!

People have been posting on social media that they're getting their Christmas decorations up and it has me wanting to yell, "Wait, what about fall?!" And then realizing that we're halfway through fall and I haven't even started on my fall bucket list and traditions that I want to make time for in this season.

This applies to life seasons too. I recently talked about my own change in seasons and the importance of unseen ministry in the building a legacy group chat (you can join here - it's a subscriber chat / channel on the Viber app where I hope to share short form writing & life updates + start discussion threads on topics relevant to building a strong marriage, a purposeful life & an enduring legacy. I am trying to spend less time on social media apps, but still want to stay in touch with like minded women I've met online, so this group chat is the proposed solution, along with this newsletter).

I'm in year four of marriage and year three of motherhood but it's just now processing for me that this new season requires different mindsets, habits, rhythms and lifestyle choices - that I can't live how I lived in my single season (may seem obvious, but let me explain!).

I was single for all of my twenties, and a lot of growth happened for me in that season - spiritually, emotionally, and professionally. There were a few years of intense internal change for me in my mid-twenties. I categorize those years as the time when God took my heart of stone and turned it into a heart of flesh. It was painful, lonely, and utterly life changing.

But out of that season came so much growth. The Expectant devotional is a culmination of those shaping years. It's what John talks about in John 12:24 and Paul in 1 Corinthians 15: when you plant a seed into the ground, it doesn't grow into a plant unless it dies first.

Part of me expected to ride the coattails of the growth that happened in my single season into my next season. As if it is a one and done kind of deal.

But I'm realizing God is calling me to another round of deep work, a season that requires stepping back from my public facing ministry / writing work, saying no to a lot of things and focusing on a few select priorities and "behind the scenes" kind of work (I talked more about this here).

Jeremiah 36:26 has a phrase that's been on my mind lately "...but the Lord hid them." It's talking about Jeremiah and his scribe, who were in danger form the king looking to kill them for speaking God's word. And God's protection in that instance looked like a hiding place. That feels so relevant to me right now as I sense God calling me to a hiding place; to learn and grow; to focus more on input than output right now.

The thing about changing seasons though is you have to let go of something and step into something new. Too often, especially as women, we tend to forget that and instead keep adding more and more to our plate with each changing season without letting anything go. We end up overwhelmed, anxious, overstimulated, stressed and definitely not thriving (if this resonates with you, I highly recommend listening to this podcast episode - it's giving me so much to think about).

I'm still navigating this shift in seasons for myself, but here are five things I'm thinking through if you find yourself evaluating your season as well:

1. Define your season. The first step is to acknowledge there was a shift in seasons and to define your new season. Life seasonal shifts can include going from single to married; matrescence (I recently learned this word and love it - it's a term that describes the physical, psychological, and emotional changes that occur during the transition to motherhood); a job change; a move; the death of a loved one, etc. Part of this includes acknowledging and appreciating the good parts of the season you're leaving behind and then drawing a line of separation to indicate that there is a new season (this looks different for each of us).

2. Define what success looks like in the season you're in. What is your capacity in this season? What are your priorities in this season? What does thriving look like in the season you're in? What goals do you want to achieve in this season? What kind of woman do you want to become as a result of the work you do in this season?

3. Develop a cadre for your season. Cadre is a French word meaning "frame" or "scope." Think of it as a framework for your season - this includes your habits, systems, routines and rhythms. For example, in the season I'm in, I want to focus more on planting seeds of legacy in my home. In past seasons, I would spend my "free" time (in motherhood, also known as nap times lol), to work on my writing and ministry projects, but I'm realizing that for a season, I need to shift this rhythm to spend my "free" time more in line with my priorities of building a legacy in my home first and foremost. So, the cadre of my schedule and weekly rhythms needs to shift to accommodate the season I'm in.

4. Determine your boundaries for this season. Once you've defined the season you're in, consider what needs to change or get removed so that your priorities in this season get your time and attention. I recommend putting everything in your life "on the table" and asking God in prayer what He would have you pick up and cultivate in this season and what should be left on the table temporarily or permanently. For example, if you’re in a season of paying off debt and/or saving for a big financial goal, a boundary may be saying no to certain spending categories like trips or eating out. If you’re in a season of prioritizing personal growth or your mental health, then maybe deleting social media apps off your phone is a necessary boundary.

5. Learn to be fully present in the season you're in. The season you're in has a purpose. Know what that is. Don't envy and day dream about the opportunities of the next season. What we sow in one season, we'll reap in the next season, so recognize the value of where you are now, even as you dream and pray for where you want to be someday. Remember, "an inheritance claimed too soon will not be blessed at the end" (Proverbs 20:21). Honor the season you're in, because this too shall pass. But for this season you'll be held accountable, because God doesn't have waiting rooms, He has fields in need of laborers. Even wilderness seasons and droughts have a purpose.

If you're also desiring to embrace shifting seasons and set up a framework to cultivate growth and thrive in your current season, I put together the journaling prompts I'm working through based on the above steps five steps - you can download a copy here!

Until next time,

P.S. If you're going through matrescence, check out my new ebook, Led by the Shepherd, a collection of essays on faith and motherhood for first time moms!